ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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