Tell her she can't have a vagina
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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