All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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