just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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