Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
