Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How does it feel to date your dad?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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