The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
