thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
