I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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