I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
