Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
