she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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