My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize