just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she looked like the before picture.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
