Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize