The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize