Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
