Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize