Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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