He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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