Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
