where am i from again
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I have post one night stand depression
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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