normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
