i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
