Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
