$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she peed on how many people?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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