discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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