i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
