Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
