Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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