ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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