He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
