I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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