Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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