lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
