What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
