I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
