that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
