would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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