i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
