She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
