He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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