I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
