cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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