last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
His nipple licking is glorious
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