One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
