I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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