nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
