weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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