David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize