God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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