the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
