I think im going to throw up on grandma
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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