i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
