I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize