she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
