Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
