are you still at the devil's house?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
