If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
