I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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