I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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