You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
