dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
