Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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