and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
