Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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