There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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