She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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