Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
