I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize