She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
