I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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