So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
