I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
