dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
